Saturday, October 07, 2006

It's Over, Alcove Cafe. This Time I Mean It.

chicken, apricot and almond salad takeout from Alcove Cafe

I'm leaving you, Alcove Cafe. I know, I know, I've said it before, but this time it's for real. Yes, you have a beautiful patio, with corners tucked away from traffic. And, you're right, I really do like your lamb burger. But that's not enough this time, nosiree.

Why? Why?? Do you really want to hear it?

First off, you never have time for me. You expect me to share you with all those other people in that ridiculous line, and it's not worth the wait. Especially considering how much you charge. If I'm gonna spend that much money on you, I expect some service if you know what I mean.

What? You think I need to be more flexible? I'm flexible all the time and you don't even notice. For example, the other day, I skipped the long line and went next door to your little store to pick up a prepared chicken salad. Blech! Do you know how bland you can taste? Are you even trying anymore? I need someone with some spice!

You know what else I can't stand about you, Alcove? You're so fake. You promise me fresh yellow beets in my salad, and what do I get? A miniscule portion of red beets that taste fresh-- FROM A CAN. And your cakes? Sure, they look beautiful in the case, but have you actually tasted them lately? Take cover, sugar bomb ahead! On top of that, you're a cheater. Don't think I didn't see your little friend at Albertson's buying bags of bananas for you. Fruit? From Albertson's?? How could you??

So that's it, Alcove. We're through. Even if it's a balmy LA night and I see your white patio lights twinkling. I'm just gonna keep on walking.

Alcove Cafe and Bakery
1929 Hillhurst Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90027


Tokyoastrogirl said...

Amen sister! I've been suckered into that place one too many times. Big, huge BLAND food at high prices.

PS- what fish market did you take that beautiful fish photo at? I'd love to find a place like that here in LA.

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